Random Recurring TV Characters I Love, Part 2: ℳel, The Sweetest Stalker

Mel is the Flight of The Conchords’ only fan. She’s obsessed with both Bret and Jemaine, and takes fangirling to another creepy as fuck level. She’s always there, waiting for them when they leave their apartment, and “coincidentally” runs into them on the street. She never misses any of their gigs, and is president (and only member) of their fan club.

Mel: Oh my God. Jemaine, are you okay?
Jemaine: Yeah.
Mel: You’re out? Did the cops try to strip search you?
Jemaine: No.
Mel: Did they find anything?
Jemaine: No, they didn’t strip search me.
Mel: Oh, I–I thought you said they did.
Jemaine: No.
Mel: Oh, well, did any of your cellmates, you know..??
Jemaine: No. No no no.
Mel: Oh good, good. Cause if–if I was a convict, you know, and I was in a cell with a pretty boy like you, I would definitely wait ’til lights out, put my hand over your mouth–
Jemaine: I’ve gotta–I’ve gotta go.

Mel’s known for making homemade t-shirts of FoTC (how she manages to get certain photos of Bret and Jemaine is unclear). She also paints nude portraits of the band, and bakes cookies with their faces on them. Mel often gets her husband Doug to drive her around while she stalks the band.

“Mel, please stop hanging out on our steps at night. You frightened an old woman, and the landlord is very unhappy about it. ” -Jemaine

Check out “Stalking With Mel”!

Mel meets Rain, a new potential fan of FoTC;

Mel: What was your name again?
Rain: It’s Rain.
Mel: Oh. That’s nice. Kinda like… kinda like bad weather… I remember your name from the fan list, I check it regularly. Do you check it regularly?
Rain: No.
Mel: Oh… You don’t have a computer.
Rain: No, I have a computer.
Mel: Oh, you can’t read..



Image: “Mel” by Ryan Estrada





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